Restart

I’ve gotten off track.  Not like I was last year but off track nonetheless.  I haven’t read my next chapter of the Artist’s Way, I haven’t officially launched my etsy store and last Thursday came and went without a post.  I thought acknowledging and talking about the fear would help me to move through it.  Um, no.  I’m still living in it.  With it.  Letting myself be controlled by it.  (Please note I’m not saying it’s controlling me, baby steps.)

Just when I needed a restart I have a 2 week house sitting job in Oregon’s wine country!  I’ve taken 1 hour walks the last 2 days.  Which has been lovely.  Not only have I gotten in my Vitamin D therapy, I’ve learned there are 2 horses (as well as several goats and sheep) within a few blocks of the house and I’ve developed a blister the size and shape of a Lemonhead.  The blister will need some work as I fully intend to walk everyday while I’m here.  That was my plan from the beginning because the house is on a street which is part of an easy to navigate grid and there’s no bowl to walk out of, like at home.  So I guess I’ll be heading to the drug store for supplies or finding a backless shoe to walk in.  See, this is why I wish I could dip the sole of my foot into rubber and have instant shoes.  Of course I would like it to be some sort of liquid or molten rubber that doesn’t burn me.  Still working on that little detail.

I have, however, knit 4 new pieces.  They are for little girls which is not my forté but it’s a fun soft yarn.  At least I’m making something, right?  Right.  I finished reading Bird by Bird which my sister-in-law recommended to me.  She was right, it is a great book.  I may have to read it again for more of it to sink in.  For now my main lessons are

– write what you know

– write in your own voice

– just write

I like this advice.  It’s simple.  Not to say it will be easy to follow.  But at least it’s not complicated.  There aren’t a lot of steps or weird angles to remember.

So here I sit, writing, getting it on the “page”.  I’ve always liked house sitting.  I think it’s the actor in me.  I get to live in someone else’s life for a little while.  Or at least in their house.  Sometimes I get to have a dog or a horse.  This time I get a yard, a very walkable neighborhood and a car.  But here’s a first.  I’m too short for the house!  Please understand, I have no illusions about my height.  I’m not tall.  I was 5’ 5 3/4” (yeah I held on to that 3/4” like you wouldn’t believe) and I’ve already started shrinking.  But as I sit on the sofa, hardly able to put my feet up on the coffee table.  I am more aware of my height.  I’m too short for the toilet and kitchen cabinets.  It is sort of fun though.  Like Lily Lomlin’s Edith Ann in the giant rocking chair.

Here’s to another week and a half of this adventure.  Oh and Welcome to June…

Oh and I woke up thinking about the fact that I haven’t been doing my morning pages. Ugh!  But all of this reminds me of a conversation I had with an old friend.  It’s just belly aching and it doesn’t get me anywhere.  Except maybe a little depressed and at some point it can’t be interesting to read.  It’s exhausting, isn’t it?  So I say no more belly aching!  

On that note I will tell you I saw a group of black and white fluffy dogs playing yesterday on my walk. Honestly I was convinced there was a giant mirror involved because I couldn’t believe there were so many (what appeared to be from across the street and their front yard) identical dogs.  There must have been at least 6. They were let out to play and I could feel the excitement as they ran single file out of the house.  Chasing and jumped and played.  A great big smile grew across my face. 

Later on the same walk there was a little girl and her dad walking ahead of me. They stopped outside the fence of the butterscotch horse with the white socks.  The one that lives with the goats.  On some level I recognized this little girl. So happy to simply see him, to just stand outside his pasture and appreciate his beauty.  As I approached she turned and said “hi”. We talked about how pretty he is. She proudly told me she came to see him everyday and I told her I intended to do the same.  This seemed to make her happy, perhaps she recognized me as well.  The exchange with this little version of myself tickled me.  And seeing that beautiful boy calmly grazing in the sun with his goat friends made me smile.  

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One Response to Restart

  1. hlbaueravatar says:

    Beautiful description of the horse and the little girl…you really have a knack for writing. 🙂

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