It’s time to unfriend

I know that spirited debate is a good thing.  I understand the value in hearing ideas different from my own.  I appreciate that it’s healthy to discuss all kinds of issues.  I get all of this, I do.

But I have a very hard time when someone I thought I knew, I thought shared a world view spews vile and personally offensive fox news rhetoric.  If you were in my day to day life I would choose to avoid nearly all subjects.  But what would we discuss because even the weather is not safe because apparently you don’t believe in climate change.  That was the last safe subject for many and now it is gone.  If climate change is just a theory and you don’t believe in it what does that mean for you on a day to day basis?  If I don’t believe in the theory of gravity do you think I’ll be able to fly?

Sadly, in this facebook age I am presented with your crap every bloody day.  During the run up to the election I struggled with the romney ads.  I tried to calmly click “no I am not interested” in this page.  But it kept showing up because one of my “friends” liked it and wouldn’t I like it too?  I rejoiced when the election was over and those ads went away.  But you’ve replaced them 3-5 fold!  And these are not the ads that show up on the side of my computer screen.  Oh no, these are great big stories in my news feed.

I’m sure you take issue with my posts as well.  I will not apologize for sharing my thoughts on healthcare reform.  Which must include affordable access to birth control as well as safe and legal abortions.  Better access to mental health care along with reasonable gun control to attempt to avoid the devastation of gun violence (whether it be a single a drive-by or a mass shooting).  Or the need for tax reform.  Because it’s not about how long the federal government could run on just a tax increase for the top 2%.  It’s about the fact that we are all in this together and we should all be paying our share.  Just as you share your thoughts and opinions I share mine.  But we also have the right and ability to choose our feeds.  I chose to add World Vets, Barack Obama, NARAL,, DCCC, Subaru, PBS, The New York Times, NPR, DSCC, Hari Sreenivasan (okay that’s for his news and because I have a crush on him) and Planned Parenthood (among others) to my news feed because I want to see their posts.  I like to have them in my daily life.  Not because I want to live in some delusional world where other opinions don’t exist but because these are things about which I am passionate.  I want to know what these groups are up to.

Maintaining communication with you is exhausting, frustrate and making me ill.  I don’t watch fox news I don’t read the news sites from which you share.  I choose not to do these things and I choose to say goodbye to you.  I thought I knew you.  Maybe I did.  Maybe you changed.  Or maybe I didn’t know you at all.  What ever the case.  Goodbye.  Hears to fewer headaches, nausea, anxiety and frustration from reading your posts.

I wrote this post and let it sit unpublished for a few weeks.  I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.  To unfriend or to not to unfriend.  Since then I’ve started “hiding” your posts.  Now that I hide more of your posts than not I think it’s officially time to unfriend. 

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2 Responses to It’s time to unfriend

  1. Phyllis Bially says:

    If the “magic” is gone from a friendship (no commonalities), if there’s no chance of open-minded debate (it’s always good to hear an opposing INFORMED opinion) then the friendship can’t be saved. Unfriend–online and in person.

    • Nina says:

      Well said! I fully acknowledge that my buttons were pushed and sometimes that’s great. It can lead to lively conversations and learning. But when I started to become physically ill I had to reevaluate the “friendship”.

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